


no light in my life (until you)

by orphan_account



Series: it's beautiful, the glow on your skin; you're beautiful [4]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-16 14:46:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3492311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there is anyone who does not know what it feels like to be loved, then they are Im Jaebum; All because he has 2 numbers on his left wrist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	no light in my life (until you)

**Author's Note:**

> For [Angel](http://symmetrophobic.livejournal.com), whose eagerness to read this was my motivation.

When Jaebum is born, he is, like every newborn child, screaming. In Jaebum's case, his fists are flailing, feet are kicking, and his mother is so exhausted that she can only laugh weakly. "Jaebum-ah," She coos when she holds him, nuzzling into her newborn's cheek. "You're so cute, Jaebum-ah."

There are no digits on his left wrist, but neither of his parents find that strange. Im Hyungwoo had been born without the numbers, only receiving them when he was 3 years old, give or take.

When Jaebum is 1, almost 2 years old, he runs to his mother, happily excited. There are numbers on his arm! Despite it having hurt when the number blazed itself onto his skin, Jaebum is so excited he doesn't care. The _327_ on his skin is in a beautiful cerulean - of course, to Jaebum it is a mere blue, but blue is Jaebum's favourite colour and so he doesn't mind.

When Jaebum is 2, almost 3 years old, almost a year from when he got the numbers that showed how far he was from his soulmate, the burning pain runs up his arm again. Jaebum stares, in shock, at the _319_ on his wrist. Two sets of numbers? Is he supposed to have two sets of numbers? He dashes to his mother with all the speed of a toddler, almost tripping in his haste. " _Eomma_!" He calls, on the verge of tears. He doesn't want to be different. All his friends had one number, why does he have two? He doesn't like being different. "I have two numbers, I have two numbers! Why?"

His mother turns to him and takes his wrist in her hand, looking down at it. Her lips flatten into a straight line, and she sighs. How was she going to explain this to her child? And her parents, especially, Jaebum's grandparents, who were the strictest and did not like it when something was not status quo. That Jaebum had two soulmates instead of two was not going to fly well with her parents, she knew, and they would do anything to convince Jaebum that he was strange, that he wasn't like the others, and therefore was worth less.

"Jaebum- _ah_ ," Im Sojin says, crouching down to her son's level. "This means that you have two people instead of one. You know how I have your father?" Here, Jaebum nods. "It's the same thing. Except that instead of one person who will love you very, very much, there will be two. So you'll love these two people very, very much, as well. Understand?"

Jaebum nods. "Mm!"

When Jaebum is 5, his parents are arguing with his grandparents. He's up in his room, crying, huddled under the blankets and shaking his head fervently, as though if he shook hard enough, he could get rid of the voices yelling downstairs. Words of _not normal_ and _the son of the devil_ and _i will not have such a grandchild_ enter his ears, and he cries even harder. Just because he has two soulmates instead of one, just because he has two sets of numbers, his grandparents don't want him.

It wasn't even his fault. At 5 years old, Jaebum learns that not everyone who is your family will love you for who you are.

When Jaebum is 7, he enters elementary school. The people there are young, childish, and because of that, they speak before they act. Jaebum has to deal with words like _weirdo_ and _strange_ and _don't talk to him, he'll give you the weirdness_. But Jaebum ignores them; He's grown used to it, anyway. The words that these children who will never mean anything to him do not hurt as much as his own maternal grandparents disowning him as a grandchild. It will never hurt more than that, Jaebum knows, and so he doesn't take the hurtful words into account even though he wants so badly to just curl up into a ball and sob to his heart's content.

When Jaebum is 9 years old, he watches the television at home, sitting cross legged on the ground. He sees the dancers on the screen, twisting and turning on their hands, one hand supporting them, on their heads and still managing to somehow turn, and he is intrigued. He tells his mother, "I want to do that!" and receives an endearing laugh from her. It's not like she doesn't support her son's dreams, but she's heard of countless people becoming injured when they b-boy, and so shakes her head. "No, Jaebum- _ah_ , you can't."

Jaebum frowns at his mother, annoyed. Why is she not letting him do what he wants to do? Hasn't she always told him to follow his dreams? Why wasn't she letting him follow those dreams now? Was his mother being a hypocrite? Undeterred, Jaebum turns back to the screen, his hands clenched into fists. If his mother won't let him learn how to b-boy, he thinks, then he'll find the teachers himself. Even if he has to go onto the streets to find some random dancer, he'll do it. He wants to b-boy, he wants to dance; He wants to belong.

When Jaebum is 11, he's a b-boy. He names himself Def Soul, after his favourite artist, and quickly makes quite a name for himself in the b-boy world. He still has a lot to learn, his mentors tell him, but he's got a lot of potential, and as long as he does what they tell him to do, as long as he practices hard enough, he'll be able to make it. They see the numbers on his wrists and they don't judge, but there are many people who do.

They buy him bandages, tells him to wrap them around his wrists. It makes sense - b-boys often got injured, so when he wasn't in long sleeves, he could pretend that he'd sprained his wrist while pulling the moves off and no one would question any further. Jaebum'd hugged his mentor, his older brother, the _hyung_ that was so precious to him, and grinned with all the sincerity of an 11 year old boy who'd never been accepted anywhere but there.

When Jaebum is 13, he gains his fiery temper. It is not something that Jaebum likes to talk about, but it involves his grandparents, their refusal to accept him as a grandson despite him being the only heir to the Im family name, and him storming out of the house before anyone can stop him; Before anyone _cared_ to stop him.

There is a flash of pain, hitting deep into his soul and piercing through his heart. He doesn't know what this is, but it's crippling, and Jaebum almost collapses to the ground. He clutches at his wrist, the _319_ on his skin starting to fade, but quickly returning. He feels nothing after that, and scoffs. Even his soulmate didn't want him. How amusing was that?

Im Jaebum is 13 years old, and he's learned that you can't trust anyone. You can only fend for yourself.

When Jaebum is 15, he takes part in an audition for an entertainment company, armed with his b-boy moves and impeccable voice. His temper is still as bad as it's ever been, but Jaebum quickly learns that he musn't attract too much attention to himself, that he must learn to control his temper if he is to get anywhere in this industry; In this place.

When Jaebum is 16, he gets through to the semi-finals of the open audition, alone. He meets the other semi-finalists, determined to beat them all, until his eyes land on a person, beautiful in their grace, a soft smile playing on their lips and the crinkles around their eyes almost demanding him to touch.

Fire burns up his veins, shooting jolts of pain that vanishes in half a second, and Jaebum lifts up his left wrist, slightly tender from the pain, and rips off the bandage to see that one of the numbers - _327_ \- he had received when he was a year and 9 months old, disappeared, a _Park Jinyoung_ sketched beautifully in its place.

Jinyoung is everything that Jaebum had never dreamed of. He had never known he needed someone like Jinyoung in his life, but here the other was, in his perfection, and Jaebum wonders how he'd managed to survive for so long without his soulmate. Jaebum holds the other close, when they're alone in the room that they share, in a dorm with other trainees. Inside their dorm, they are safe, and inside their room, they are even safer.

Jaebum kisses Jinyoung with reverence, with patience, with everything that he has dreamed of having in his life but never once gaining. Jinyoung returns his sentiments, kisses back slowly, gently, settling himself comfortably on top of Jaebum. They part to breathe, once in a while, but Jinyoung never lets Jaebum go, and Jaebum never lets Jinyoung go. He learns to love, learns to open his heart and dampen his temper, learns that sometimes it just takes the right people for you to find yourself.

When Jaebum is 18, he debuts. He debuts alongside the first person to ever be with him in every way he wanted and needed. He debuts alongside Park Jinyoung, the boy with his name inked into his wrist, the one boy he won the Open Auditions with, the one boy he needed more than anyone or anything else in his life. They are Im Jaebum and Park Jinyoung, the two people with famous names and the reputations that come along with them, as JJ Project, and they are determined to rock the world.

With Jinyoung, Jaebum thinks, he can do anything.

When Jaebum is 19 years old, they tell him that JJ Project is going on a hiatus. "You're not doing well enough," They are told, and Jinyoung's trembling frame next to him makes him want to blow up at his CEO for making Jinyoung so upset, for making _them_ so upset. It is ridiculous, Jaebum thinks, that barely 6 months into their debut - 6 months. 6 _months_! - they are told that they are a failure and anything that they do will be put on hold first.

Jaebum holds Jinyoung close to him when they get back to the dorm, the younger sobbing into his chest. Jaebum wants to hit something, but Jinyoung's grip keeps him grounded. Now is not the time to get angry, Jaebum thinks, because then it would just upset Jinyoung even further. Jinyoung, beautiful, kind Jinyoung who is everything to him. Jaebum has let him down, unable to do what he was asked to do, unable to make JJ Project be a hit.

Hadn't he promised himself? Hadn't he promised _them_? That he would make JJ Project a success, that the world would come to know Im Jaebum and Park Jinyoung, not as the separate singers that made their names famous, but as the duo, as JJ Project, the hip hop boy duo from JYP Entertainment that managed to wow the world.

He'd failed.

Jinyoung had calmed down a little by the next day, and, with his wisdom, had seen through Jaebum's mask immediately. "It isn't your fault, _hyung_." Jinyoung says, face stern and voice firm. "We were part of JJ Project. We. The two of us. We didn't make it not because of you, but because of us. Don't blame yourself for this when we both know that you cannot single handedly take the blame for this."

Jaebum is 19 years old, and as he stares at Jinyoung's face, realizes he is in love.

When Jaebum is 19 years old, they tell him that he will be debuting as a 7 membered boy group, with Jinyoung, alongside 5 other members of which only 4 have been decided. They need another powerful vocalist, JYP explains, and they are still searching for one. When the time is right, they will have all 7, and GOT7 will be the first boy group to debut from JYP in years. The stress is astounding, especially when he is told that he will have to lead the group.

JJ Project was okay. JJ Project was him and Jinyoung, and that was easy. He knows himself, and he knows Jinyoung more than Jinyoung knows himself. But to be put in a group with 5 other people that he didn't know, one of which wasn't even _decided on yet_ , that in itself was terrifying.

"You'll be okay, _hyung_ ," Jinyoung tells him as they lie together, the younger's head on his chest. "We'll be okay."

Jaebum believes him.

Jaebum is 20 years old when he walks into the training room with Jinyoung, ready to face the other members that will be a part of the boy group that they have been assigned to. He feels the burn in his wrist and hisses, jerking. He feels Jinyoung's reaction more than sees or hears it, and when the boy that he's looking at looks up at them, Jaebum realizes that they've found him.

_Choi Youngjae_ is now inked on his arm rather than the number, and he knows that Jinyoung has the same. The boy is staring up at them like they're his saviours, like he has never seen anyone like them in his life, and Jaebum feels the same way. There is no one that beautiful on this earth, no one who could ever compare to Jinyoung, he had once thought, but now he stands corrected. Youngjae is just as beautiful as Jinyoung is, and Jaebum doesn't know how to deal with the fact that they are both _his_.

Jaebum is 20 years old when he hears of the way Youngjae had been ostracized by the people around him just because he has two numbers on his inner wrist. Jaebum says nothing about the way that he'd been through the same thing, but his anger, so much more pronounced that Jinyoung's is, is enough of a clue, especially for Jinyoung who has known him for a longer time. Jinyoung is angry, he can tell, but not as angry as he is. He doesn't want to think about Youngjae, his beloved, innocent Youngjae having to go through what he had, thrown aside like he wasn't anything, like he wasn't important, treated like an alien just because he had two numbers on his wrist instead of one.

Jaebum is 20 years old when Youngjae and Jinyoung are cuddled up to him, kissing him on either side. Jinyoung is nuzzling into his neck from behind, nipping gently and leaving butterfly kisses. Youngjae is the one who has his lips locked with Jaebum's kissing him slow and deep, as though trying to show Jaebum how much he loves him without words. Jaebum's hand finds Youngjae's and Jinyoung's interlocked ones, and they release each other's hand to play with his, all three brushing against each other's hands in the most intimate way.

Jaebum is 20 years old when he debuts, again. This time he isn't only with Jinyoung, this time he's with 6 other people who have come to mean the world to him. He turns, and he sees Jackson and Mark on the far end, Yugyeom and Bambam on the other. He sees Jinyoung on his right and Youngjae on his left through his peripheral vision, knows that they are beside him, supporting him, and he feels that surge of power again, feels as though he can take on the world. That _they_ can take on the world.

This time, Jaebum will not let anyone down.

_"Come and get it, GOT7!"_


End file.
